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In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.
Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
The Fifth Commandment is 'Humor thy father and mother.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
David fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
In some religions a man can have many wives, and this is called polygamy. In our religion a man can have one wife, and this is called monotony.

--Cathryn Conroy
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